How can we get to a place of understanding women and burnout?
Remember about a decade ago when the zeitgeist was full of buzz about Sharyl Sandberg? She told women everywhere to lean into their leadership roles and promised they could be the mothers they wanted to be while also being the executives they wanted to be.
So women tried. This super successful woman said they could do it, right? So it should work, right?
It can’t.
At least not alone.
Sandberg was able to lean in at work because she had a staff at home. The majority of women not only do not have a staff, but have to take on an unequal share of domestic responsibilities at home. Sandberg was at a huge corporation with the resources to offer paid maternity leave if they wanted. Most Americans work at small to midsize companies that cannot afford to do that without government assistance of some sort.
But she never mentioned that.
She just parroted one of the mantras of burnout: if you want it bad enough, you’ll work hard enough for it.
That’s…that’s just not how it works. Wanting something bad enough is not what makes something happen. Working hard for something doesn’t guarantee it will happen. Smashing the two together doesn’t do any good either.
So if leaning in doesn’t work – what does?
Grounding yourself in a support system. Prioritizing joy. Deciding to craft a life that fits your goals and dreams and not the ones you see on Instagram. Relaxing that every dream requires sacrifice – it’s usually about what sacrifices one is willing to make rather than pretending you don’t need to make any at all.
It’s messy and annoying and hard and beautiful and a lot of other things that don’t fit into pithy book titles or TEDx headlines. But that’s kinda what makes it worth it. It’s work to commit to understanding women and burnout.
Want to know more about how to do all of that? Check out our book, which covers our framework for burnout prevention & recovery: The Culture of Burnout: Why Your Exhaustion is Not Your Fault, available in ebook, print, and audio.
